Cred: Apple

As I said, I was excited. This had the potential to be the best phone of the year. And to some degree I stand by that to be honest. Apple’s design team has done a very good job of squeezing an enormous 5.8inch screen into a phone that is not much bigger than the iPhone 7. A huge 1.1 more inches of iOS goodness to look at. Apple then managed to fitting an inordinate amount of features into this relatively small shell including wireless charging, bigger battery, the most powerful processor ever fitted to an iPhone and a new camera set up. So far so good then.

I was very impressed with the initial headlines. The cameras on iPhones have always been class leading, I’m the first to admit that, and this new layout of a double Optical Image Stabilised shooter was something I genuinely uttered “wow” aloud to. Sure, I’m still not a fan of “Camera Bumps” on phones and this one I think looks particularly ugly, but I will always want good photos over a flush back so it’s not too much of a gripe. Good job Apple.

Furthermore, arguably Apple’s biggest weakness, the battery, seems to have been addressed with Phil Schiller claiming 2 extra hours of battery over the iPhone 7 with wireless fast charging. Okay so this isn’t class leading, but it’s a definite step in the right direction and the inclusion of some quality of life stuff is a good touch. Again, gold star.

Next up, the power. Whilst I’ve got a problem with the fact they called their chip the A11 Bionic there will be no doubt this phone will have some proper grunt to it. Apple have always focused on user experience and this phone will make absolute mincemeat of any task you throw at it and the feel under finger will be buttery smooth. A+.

Unfortunately, for me this is where the good grades end. We must now talk about what is probably the second biggest feature of the phone. FaceID. For the record, I can absolutely see why they have done this. It’s no secret Apple wanted to fit a fingerprint scanner underneath the screen. It’s the logical thing to do. You get the benefits of the gargantuan screen without any lifestyle change. You still unlock the phone in the same way as before.

Now this is not a criticism of Apple as everyone has been struggling with the under screen scanner, but surely, SURELY, there is a better solution than a face scanner.

To activate them you have to hold the phone at the perfect angle which means looking like an absolute berk in the process. And what’s worse they are notoriously easy to trick requiring just a picture of your face in the worst examples. In fairness I have heard that Apple have worked hard to address some of these issues. But the evidence of the technology’s unreliability is there. In FaceID’s unveiling to the world, it wet it’s pants on stage and refused to work. Phil Schiller did an excellent job of glossing over this little embarrassment to the point where I don’t think many people noticed.

I have side-tracked myself, my issue isn’t with the implementation of this feature, it’s the fact it exists in the first place. I bring myself back to my earlier statement. Surely there is a better solution? TouchID works and works well. Why couldn’t Apple move the fingerprint scanner on to the side in the lock button like Sony have done? I feel this is a much more elegant solution to the problem. This is the crux of my issue. While FaceID I’m sure will work fine, it’s a solution to a problem that probably shouldn’t have existed.

I’m now going to touch on the other big exclusive feature of the iPhone X. They made a big song and dance about it and so I take a deep breath and get on with it. Okay, I’m ready… I think: Animojis. They are so goddamn creepy. During the demonstration I was genuinely feeling very uncomfortable at what I was seeing. An emoji, that mimics your face. I just… What?! Putting my personal discomfort to one side, I would love to see some stats in a year’s time about how widely they are being used. It seems like a gimmick to me. A gimmick aimed at children and teenagers who are rarely going to own this phone because it costs (now brace yourselves here kids) ONE THOUSAND POUNDS. A THOUSAND!

I do feel this is too much for a phone, even one as well crafted, powerful and feature rich as this. It’s just too much. I’d be scared to leave the house with it.